 Cyprus "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." Thumper Why are we told to be kind to each other but not to ourselves? How is it that we can be shockingly mean with our self-talk with things we wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else? Do you feel lazy or self-indulgent if you rest, take part in calming pursuits or seek out peace? Why do we not practise self-gentleness? I noticed that as my mobility became more restricted I pretended (fibbed) that things were better than they were. Often it was the thought of not ‘giving in’ or that I could always rest after doing anything if I was in pain rather than either not do it, or prepare better while taking things gently. It seems I am not the only one. Do you know anyone; maybe yourself, who gets poorly when on holiday, has headaches at the weekend, gets regular bouts of IBS, has trouble sleeping etc. All these things are symptoms of stress, over-doing, chronic pain and not being kind to oneself. We are told to push through, feel the pain - all or nothing. Kill or cure. Why are we creatures of extremes? I’ll keep going, I can sleep when I’m dead.
Oh look, here comes the devil to check out those idle hands. What about people who pretend to be busy for fear of being judged as lazy? Then there is the fear of saying ‘no’ to not let people down or to be regarded as unhelpful. Why is our language such? Why can the story be flipped but not our responses or actions? As in all work no play - deep down we know it but life does not lend itself to gentleness. We, therefore, must create it ourselves in any way that works. To lead a gentle life you probably need to move, change job, eliminate toxicity - all good advice but, for most, not practical and the stress of knowing what to do while being unable to is debilitating. What you need is some gentleness in your life. We all know what we should be doing ~ Lagom is a Swedish word meaning "just the right amount" or "not too much, not too little". The word can be variously translated as "in moderation", "in balance", "perfect-simple", "just enough", "ideal" and "suitable". Wikipedia Hygge is a word in Danish and Norwegian that describes a mood of coziness and "comfortable conviviality" with feelings of wellness and contentment. Wikipedia Niksen is a Dutch verb which means "doing nothing", which can be roughly translated as "nixing". It has been explored as a method to combat work-related health problems such as stress and burnout. Wikipedia Latibulate is a wonderful word that I learnt from Paul Strikwerda and means to hide oneself away in your cosy, safe place, hidden away from everyone which is special to you. It’s the sort of place where, on frory days, you can kick off your shoes and settle down in your huffle-buffs, maybe for a bit of firkytoodling or just to relax. Everyone should have a latibule so that they can get away from unwelcome demands on their time. Urban Dictionary What can be done to switch on your gentleness? Practicalities aside:
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