This post is mostly about writing but the theories expand all over the show into life’s nooks and crannies.
While talking about the Write Your Book Retreat in Greece, a few people have shared their life-loop with me.
Although I dislike pigeonholing or labelling, people do tend to be certain ‘types’. The most obvious are optimists, pessimists and set-in-their-way realists. There are groaners, droners and constant moaners. We have pouters, doubters and over-loud shouters. Then along come triers, aspirers and successful flyers. The last group recognise that something needs to be done to escape from the same old.
I hear people wanting to start up their own business but they don’t because someone said it is hard. Or they heard that all businesses lose money in the first year or some other such nonsense. Fears become solid blocks and because failure is the uppermost thought it becomes safer to stay put. Metaphorically.
But the comment that made my heart sad was, ‘I can’t afford to come on the writing retreat this year but maybe next year. I doubt I'll have any money then either; story of my life!’
This person had already written their life for next year in the belief that it will be the same as all the previous ones. When I asked a couple of questions the response was defensive with that old fall back, ‘it’s easy for you.’
I am not dismissing the importance of a good sulk, moan or wallow! But, if that becomes the ‘normal’ state it is damaging to the well-being of your mind, body and spirit.
It is important to remember ‘choice’.
This might be harsh but really if you’re not happy with your lot you either put up or change something. I know that change can be hard but it doesn’t have to be impossible and it doesn’t have to all happen at once.
Often, those who are dissatisfied with their lot tend to spend a lot of time criticising others.
Think of all the armchair critics who talk about writing but are too busy whinging about Fifty Shades. Whether you love or hate the books, E L James got her finger out and wrote them.
Ah, but it is hard to write a book and even harder to be published nowadays! Is it? Says who?
What if you just want to write and aren’t bothered about being published, as there are so many ways to do it yourself. Oh, but that’s fraught with hazard! Is it? Says who?
Before I wrote my first book I had doubts and worries and played the what ifs - what if I can’t really write, what if it turns out as nonsense, what if people laugh, what if, what if, what if. One day I decided, enough, and changed that to what if I just write it. What if I just acknowledge and then release the fears. What if I get into the flow and welcome success? I have opened up my email coaching programme - please click the link above if this is tempting.
Are you playing the ‘what if’ game?
All the time you are thinking about wanting to write someone else is signing a publishing contract.